About #marriage
👉 Question: When looking for a partner to be in a relationship with, is physical attraction another important factor to consider in addition to the person being a Godly man? Or are we supposed to not give it a lot of weight?
Answer: Grooming, self-care, and physical preparation are important to look good, but attraction is mainly possible through spiritual life, not physical appearance. Through religion, one can attract others. If one is strong in religion, she/he can attract a non-religious person to their religion.
Looking at our forefathers, they raised many people from the abyss of sin through their religion and made them know God. They did not attract them with carnal thoughts and desires, clothes, rhetorical style, makeup, or appearance. For example, St. Justinas drew Kostrianos to Christ and made him become a bishop, not through her dress style, words, or physical appearance, but because of her religion.
Since St. Justinas was religious, she prayed. When demons were sent to kill her, they failed, but when she prayed, she burned them up with her prayers. Eventually, the one who sent the demons asked, "What kind of God is Justina's God?" and stopped worshipping his gods. He burned his books and came to God. St. Justinas captivated him through her perseverance and strength in her religion, not through her speech.
Therefore, a religious person can attract a weak person who does not have a religion. A religious person lives in love, has compassion for others, speaks softly but not harshly, does not offend people, is sympathetic to people, but does not speak harsh words to people. Dressing up or decorating the flesh is not a fundamental issue, but religion is the foundation.
During the engagement period, there are important issues that should be thought about and prioritized over carnal thinking. The first is religion. Religion is the foundation, and the rest are the roof and the wall. Just as a house can bear more when its foundation is strong, we can bear other matters when we understand our religion properly and are firm in our religion.
A religious person also needs morals. Faith without morals is dead. Therefore, ethics is also important. A religious person bows down, prays, fasts, is God-fearing, humble, obedient to others, not commanding, and imitates Christ. Humility is important, and those who humble themselves are exalted.
A person who has religion and morals sees people with love and has no hatred. They feel sorry for people, think for people before themselves, and say, "Let's eat/drink together." The way to attract people is through these basic religious aspects and ethics.
Age, health, a house, clothes, and food are next considerations, not the primary ones.
Therefore, one can attract people and make them love us not by pretending but by being. Holding the truth and standing on the truth can make others pay attention to us. The main thing that should be considered and underlined is that the soul should be what God loves and what connects us with God.
Therefore, we should prioritize the soul over physical desires. Carnal desires are only pursued after establishing religion and morality as the foundation. A person who repents, prays, and worships God should prioritize their clothing according to their means and need for shelter, and the rest can follow in order. Religion, fear of God, and ethics should be given the utmost importance. Then, if the couple and their families are willing, with God's blessing, the other factors can be considered, and a priest's advice should be sought. In this context, physical preparation and grooming are important, but they should always be preceded by religion and morality.
May the Holy God's name be praised forever and ever in every language that He has created, today and always.
May the blessings of the Holy Mother of God, the Virgin, and the Cross be upon us. Amen.
© John's Repentance
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